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Kessler Presents is committed to providing the safest environment possible for its upcoming shows and we appreciate your patience as we work toward a return to normal.  All our show staff are vaccinated and/or tested and will be wearing masks/face coverings.  In addition, we support the artists who request the additional safety protocols.  

Specifically at the request of the artist, the following health and safety requirements have been implemented for all attendees at this show: A John Waters Christmas

 

In attending this event, you attest that you and all persons in your party: 

- will provide a negative COVID-19 test result from a diagnostic test taken within 48 hours prior to attending the event;

OR

- fully vaccinated patrons may provide proof of vaccination by showing your vaccination card (at least 2 weeks after final dose), instead of negative test results;

AND

- will wear a mask/face covering at all times at the venue. 

If you are unable to adhere to any of these requirements and purchased your tickets directly through the venue (via Prekindle), you may request a refund by December 1 at this link: https://www.prekindle.com/support .

We understand the challenges the virus has caused for all of us and truly appreciate your understanding during these times. Like you, we look forward to the day when we are back to conducting business as usual. 

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Contaminated presents. Infected sticks and stones. Who says Santa has been vaccinated? Not even an elf! Expect the big-boned guy with a glandular problem to, once again, home invade your chimney without the slightest nod to modern science. Maskless Christmas! Carrier New Year! Santa flicked the light switch and its suddenly back to a safe capitalist holiday for all. Like an obsessed and shell-shocked St. Nick from quarantine, John Waters, the “people’s pervert” or “queer Confucius” as the press recently called him, is back after a two-year home detention in Baltimore to hit the road again for his 25th Annual Xmas Tour. Bad little boys and girls and everybody in between and beyond, will be thrilled to take a sleighride-of-sleaze down the slopes of good taste and over the ski jump of religious beliefs to a snow drift of candy cane anarchy. They’ll be no silent nights this year. Not after a year of unsafe kissing and government ordered masturbation. No, the sanitization of Christmas cookies and the wiping down of presents must stop. It’s time to celebrate. Even Jesus wants to party! Touch your face! Breathe on your family! Sit in the middle seats on airplanes. Dance naked in retirement homes. It’s fun! It’s f***ed up! It’s a John Waters Christmas and fa-la-la, you’re not dead yet.